After grabbing the Widow sniper rifle, we head deeper into the Collector Base. We locate the central computing hub and wire EDI into the system. Suddenly, everything starts going wrong. Alien viruses attempt to shut down the Normandy and the platform we’re standing on rises into the air. More platforms start flying in, bearing on them Collectors and Scions. It’s a trap. We defend...
The Tragic Legacy of the Protheans
We head into the ship. We find that the insides are full of stasis pods, likely containing the colonists from Horizon. There are also piles of dead bodies everywhere. Mom: Delightful. Heading deeper, we find ourselves in a laboratory. A dead collector is strewn out on an operating table. EDI taps into the ship’s computer to learn that the Collectors were studying the similarities between...
The Collector Ship
I grab Jack and Jacob and head for the Collector vessel. Mom: Hey! You didn’t ask me who I want to bring. Me: I brought Jack and Jacob, the same people you always bring. Mom: You should still ask. Me: You always tell me not to ask! Mom: If you just want to play without my input then go ahead.
‘ Man these updates just get further and further apart. Me: Martin Sheen wants to talk to us. Mom: Nah. Me: We don’t have a choice. We head into the comm room and dial up The Illusive Man. He takes a long drag on a cigarette. Mom: He’s got a joint! Me: It’s a cigarette. Mom: It’s a joint. The Illusive Man tells us that the Turians have managed to disable a...
We tag the keystone to end the trial. Uvenk and his cronies show up before the shaman can get to us. Grunt: We have company. Good. I want more. Me: You know, I’m starting to believe that you two ARE related. Mom: Yeah. We have the same eyes. We make quick work of Uvenk.
The Third Trial
Now, all krogan bear the genophage. Our reward, our curse. It is a fight where the only goal is survival! While fighting the Thresher Maw, I have to pause to go to the kitchen and help Dad find the mixer. I watch as he puts not only vanilla ice cream and chocolate pudding, but half a package of crushed-up Oreos and two packets of hot chocolate mix into a bowl. At that point he tells me to go...
The Second Trial
Then the krogan were lifted to the stars, to destroy the fears of a galaxy! An enemy only we could chase to their lair! Dad gets up to go make his… “Frostee,” only to discover that at some point a piece of chewing gum managed to fall out of his mouth and onto his back (???), sticking him to his chair.
The First Trial
We’re instructed to wait at the keystone, and survive whatever is thrown at us. First the krogan conquered Tuchanka, and mastered a natural world only we are fit to rule! Dad: Honey, have we unpacked a mixer yet? Mom: Y… yes, why? Dad: I want to make a Frostee. Mom: What with like, ice cream and milk? Me: We don’t have any milk. Dad: I’m gonna mix some vanilla ice...
We head up to speak with the krogan shaman, only to discover that Uvenk has made it here before us, and is demanding that Grunt be banned from the rite of passage. Mom: Remind me again why I care about any of this. Me: He’s your brother! Mom: Ugh. Shepard angrily demands that we get this over with, which angers the shaman. We manage to win him back over by giving Uvenk a swift...
Rite of Passage
We explain that we’ve come to Tuchanka because something is wrong with Grunt. Wreav jumps off his throne to smell him. Mom: [Grunt] Shit his diaper. Wreav: This krogan smells like a juvenile. Mom: Don’t talk around it dude, he crapped his pants. We explain that Grunt was created by Warlord Okeer. Wreav mentions that Okeer was a very hated krogan, but also says that hate can be a...
We head into the Clan Urdnot complex, and are met by Urdnot Wreav. He warns us that the krogan are aware of who we are, and are unhappy about our destruction of the genophage cure on Virmire and our murder of Urdnot Wrex. Mom: I don’t remember any of that. Me: For once, there’s an option for that. We tell Wreav that we don’t recall anything he’s talking about. He...
I've Read That Fanfiction
Grunt is incredibly agitated, feeling angry and irritated and unable to control his killer instinct. Mom: Why do I care again? Me: He’s your little brother! Mom: Oh fine. We head to Tuchanka to find Grunt a krogan doctor. Me: Since we’re here to help Grunt, we have to take him along. Do you want to take Jacob or Jack as our second? Mom: Jack. Me: Okay. Mom: Me and her got a...
Why does this always have to be difficult
Me: Alright, so Mordin, Garrus, and Grunt, your little brother, all want help from us. Mom; Yeah, I’ll bet. Me: So you don’t want to see what any of them want? Mom: No. Me: Alright, let’s see what else we can do then. We can “Investigate Project Overlord.” Mom: That sounds boring. Me: We can recruit “The Justicar” or “The Assassin.” ...
Get it Together, Bioware
Evidently I was far too optimistic about hoping to get in a half hour every day! We’re getting them in when we can, sorry about the slow updates! Anywho. Me: So, last time we played we recruited Tali, that masked alien girl. I go up to Kelly and she talks about how she likes Tali. Mom: “She’s okay.” Shepard: I’m glad to have her on the team. Mom: That’s...