Mom Effect

Video

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 21:39:19 -0400

This is Dumb but

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 17:45:04 -0400

maybe scoot those likes over to the YouTube page instead of the tumbler post!

Video

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 16:46:18 -0400

Let Me Tell You About Video Games Presents: Mom Effect

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 16:45:51 -0400

My friend Mike and I have recently launched a youtube channel called Let Me Tell You About Video Games, where we play games that one or both of us have never played before, and usually games that one or both of us will probably not like very much. It’s essentially Mom Effect but with my friend instead of my mother.

And as a side-project on the channel I am reviving Mom Effect as a video series! The first video just went up, I’ll embed it in the following post. Check it out and like/subscribe, and while you’re give a look at the first series that I’m doing with Mike, Let Me Tell You About Metal Gear!

Foreshadowing

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 05:16:34 -0400

Stay tuned.

Reminiscence

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 22:46:11 -0400

We move on from the security station.

Mom: I miss Jack.

Me: Well, maybe you shouldn’t have gotten her killed then.

Mom: Hey!

Me: You know I couldn’t even find a screenshot of her dying there? No one else on the internet thought putting her in charge of that team was a good idea. Not a single one.

Mom: She needed it! She needed someone in her life to trust her and give her an important responsibility, even if she wasn’t good enough.

Me: Then you should’ve put her in charge of the bubble! You could’ve made her feel good and then she would’ve lived!

Mom: Look, she needed to die.

Me: Did she?

Mom: Yes.

Me: …Did she really, though?

Mom: She was too tormented. She wasn’t ever gonna be happy.

Me: I’m just saying, she’s alive in my game, and she’s a drill instructor helping other kids like her.

Mom: Nah she could never do anything like that. She was too far-gone. Best I could do was give her a moment of triumph before mercy-killing her.

Me: …

A Working Relationship

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 22:32:00 -0400

We continue to push through the base. We come across a security station, and Liara boots up the footage to see if she can learn anything about the inside saboteur that’s helping Cerberus. She finds footage of a woman killing two other scientists.

Kaidan: Who’s that?

Mom: Are you kidding me? First he’s nasty to me, and now he’s staring at this other woman?

Liara explains that it’s Dr. Eva Core, a freelance scientist who’d been assisting with the research team. She realizes in retrospect that Core was highly suspicious, and that she should’ve figured out that she was a double agent during the months they worked together. Liara apologizes for being so close to Earth for so long and never coming to visit us.

Shepard: You did the right thing.

Mom: Yeah she did. Staying away from me is definitely the right thing for her to do.

The More Things Change

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 22:16:11 -0400

As we head into the facility, we run into Liara, who comes crawling out of a vent and throws a Singularity to stop two Cerberus troops.

Mom: Ughhhhh

Liara you’d best count yourself lucky you’re one of the only invincible squadmates in the series.

After a short reunion with that blue chick that helped us briefly with Saren two and a half years ago and then tossed us a little bit of intel when we bumped into her on Illium, Shepard decides to send Vega back to the Normandy and take Liara along with us.

Mom: Wait, what? No! Why can’t we send her back?!

Me: I thought Vega was a doofus.

Mom: I’ll take the doofus over this bitch!

Tension

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 22:06:05 -0400

We land on Mars, only to find that we’ve been beaten here by none other than Cerberus. They’re executing the Alliance guards outside.

Me: The terrorists that you worked with last game are here trying to get to the weapon before us!

Mom: Oh big deal.

We take out the troopers outside of the complex. Kaidan reveals that he’s suspicious that we may somehow be involved in this.

Mom: Up yours, hotpants.

Vega speaks up, and explains that we’ve been under strict surveillance since our arrest. It would’ve been impossible for us to remain in contact with Cerberus.

Me: See, look at that. James is sticking up for you.

Mom: He’s still a doofus.

A Glimmer of Hope

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 21:57:00 -0400

Joker puts us on a direct course for the Charon Relay, but on the way we receive a transmission from Admiral Hackett. A team of researches, led by Dr. Liara T’soni, have uncovered something in the Prothean Archives on Mars: a weapon that the Protheans had been developing to defeat the Reapers.

Me: So they think they’ve found something that can fight back these aliens.

Mom: We’ll see.

We’ve got to go to Mars to talk to that blue girl about it.

Mom: Ugh, I hate the blue girl.

Me: …You think that every blue woman we’ve met has been the same person, don’t you.

Mom: They haven’t been?!

Paradigm Shift

Sun, 02 Sep 2012 21:49:05 -0400

The Normandy shoots into space. The crew that happened to be on board during the extraction have no choice but to come with us. Vega in particular is furious about abandoning earth.

Me: This is one of our new teammates in this game.

Mom: Bleh.

Me: What’s that for?

Mom: He’s a big doofus.

Mom isn’t immediately throwing herself at the male human squadmate this time.

I don’t understand.

Video

Sat, 01 Sep 2012 01:24:00 -0400

Leaving Earth

Sat, 01 Sep 2012 01:23:22 -0400

After an intense shootout with a horde of Cannibals, we manage to clear an area for the Normandy to land and pick us up.

Anderson, however, chooses to stay behind. He’s going to direct forces on Earth, while you head to the Citadel to plead your case to the Council, and hopefully gain reinforcements to stop the Reapers before it’s too late. Shepard’s reluctant to leave Anderson behind (though Mom’s not), but Anderson tells her that it’s an order.

Shepard: I don’t take orders from you anymore, remember?

Mom: Yeah, you tell him!

Anderson reinstates our status as Commander, and the Normandy heads for space.

As we’re taking off, Shepard catches something out the window. ~~That kid~~ I am running to an evac zone, and climb into a Kodiak. As soon as the vessel takes off, however, it’s shot down by a Reaper’s laser. I’m dead.

Mom: That’s a shame.

Setting Up for Disappointment

Sat, 01 Sep 2012 00:18:09 -0400

Mom: Where’s Jacob?

Me: He didn’t come with you when you got sent to jail. He’s not a member of the military so he’s probably out in space somewhere.

Mom: We’ll find him.

As we continue through the warzone, Shepard stumbles upon the kid from before—ugh, me—hiding in the vents of a ruined building. We try to coax me out but I’m too scared, convinced that the war’s already been won. The music swells dramatically as I back away from Shepard’s outreached hand.

Mom: Oh please, don’t try to make me care about this kid!

Enemy Is Everywhere

Sat, 01 Sep 2012 00:06:35 -0400

Before we even know what’s hit us, The Reapers land in Vancouver. A laser fires at Alliance HQ. An explosion rocks the building, killing everyone in the room but us and Anderson. The admiral tells us we need to head to the Normandy, and fast.

We race along the rooftops of Vancouver, fighting off husks as we go. Anderson barks orders and instructions as we go.

Mom: Who the hell is he to tell us what to do?

Me: He’s your CO!

Mom: Shoot him.

Me: What?

Mom: Kill him!

Me: I can’t. Bullets will go through him if I try.

Mom: You’re terrible at this game.

Acceptable Losses

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 23:52:00 -0400

We’re ushered into a large chamber, filled with Earth’s military leaders. We tell them what they already know. The Reapers are here. We warn them that there is no victory against this enemy; the only goal is survival.

The conversation is interrupted with feeds from around the world. Against all possibility, the Reapers have already smashed through Earth’s defenses, and are obliterating all of its major cities.

Me: Look, London is being destroyed!

Mom: Eh, I’ve been to London. It’s nothin’ special.

Freedom

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 20:27:38 -0400

An Alliance soldier enters our cell. Shepard identifies him as James Vega. He tells us that Admiral Anderson wants to speak with us.

Anderson: You look good Shepard.

Mom: Damn straight I do.

Thankfully (for Anderson) she talks over the crack about Shepard gaining some weight.

Anderson explains the situation. A massive force has been picked up by Earth’s detection system, moving at an incredible speed toward the human homeworld. No one’s come out and said it yet, but there’s only one possible explanation: The Reapers are here, and they’re gunning for Earth.

Mom: What, they lock me up and then they think I’m gonna help them out of their problem? Fat chance buddy. Let’s go hit the bar.

As we head to the central command room, we walk past Kaidan.

Me: It’s Kaidan!

Mom: Stay put Hotpants, I’ll be back in a minute.

Me: Are you still planning to kill him?

Mom: Of course!

A Fate Worse Than Death

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 20:18:50 -0400

After a text crawl that mom doesn’t read and an ominous opening that she doesn’t care about, we cut to Shepard observing a child playing with a toy space ship from the confines of her cell.

Mom: Is that you?

Me: No.

Mom: I think it is.

Me: It’s not me.

Mom: If it’s not you then I’m not playing.

Me: Ugh… fine, it’s me.

Making Mama's Moneymaker

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 19:26:27 -0400

Me: Now that we’re starting the third game, we’re going to have an opportunity to change what you look like.

Mom: Thank God. Can we get new clothes too?

Me: Not right away, but yeah.

Mom: Finally. Alright step one get rid of that awful hairdo.

Me: Alright, let me cycle through the options to see if you like any of these.

Mom: Ugh, why are these all so short? Why can’t I have long hair?

Me: We’ve been over this. You’re a soldier that sees a lot of combat. Long hair is tactically disadvantageous.

Mom: I thought you said I was in jail!

Me: Well, yeah, but—

Mom: Why am I in jail anyway?

Me: Oh gee, I don’t know, maybe it’s because of all those people you killed?

Mom: Hey.

Me: Do you know how long it took me to type that post tallying all the people that died because of you?

Mom: Wah wah wah. Alright, I guess gimme that short, curly-looking hair.

Me: Alright.

Mom: She got her head shaved when she was put in the clink and that’s all the more it’s grown back.

Me: Sure, why not. Alright, anything else you want to change?

Mom: Hell yeah, make me less ugly.

Me: Okay… anything in specific?

Dad: Everything.

Mom: [Dad], you make tell him how to make her look.

Dad: Okay… make her eyebrows lower.

Me: Alright.

Dad: Lower than that.

Me: They don’t go any lower. Do you want me to make the eyes higher?

Dad: Sure, and move them closer together.

Mom: She looks cross-eyed now!

Dad: Uh… what does the cheekbone thing do?

I move the slider back and forth.

Dad: I don’t see anything happening.

Me: It’s subtle but her cheekbones are becoming more or less pronounced.

Dad: If you say so. Jeez, I’m just making this worse. She needs a cute button nose. Is there an upturned nose?

Me: Yeah, here we go.

Dad: Oh god, now she just looks like a pig. What about her chin? It needs to be narrower. That’s the narrowest it can go? Okay, um… yeesh.

Me: Y’know, the idea is to make her look kind of like mom.

Dad: Yikes. Yeah, I failed. I’ll let you two figure it out.

I reset it back to our imported face. I change the hairstyle and eye color and move on.

Overture

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 16:09:00 -0400

Me: Before we get started, I should probably get you up to speed on a few basic plot details, since we’re starting a new game today.

Mom: But I don’t care!

Me: I know but it’s funnier when you have at least a vague idea about what’s going on.

Mom: Fine.

Me: So, the enemy that we’ve been fighting in both of these games are called the Reapers. They’re these huge evil alien robots. Saren and the Collectors, the bad guys from the last game, were both working for them. You’ve been doing everything you can to stop them, but it’s been hard because no one believes they really exist. Now they’re finally here, and the galaxy is erupting into war against them.

Mom: Okay.

Me: You also got thrown in jail for the things you did in the last game and have been there for the last six months.

Mom: What.

Me: Alright, let’s get started!

Mom: What?!