We move on from the security station.

Mom: I miss Jack.

Me: Well, maybe you shouldn’t have gotten her killed then.

Mom: Hey!

Me: You know I couldn’t even find a screenshot of her dying there? No one else on the internet thought putting her in charge of that team was a good idea. Not a single one.

Mom: She needed it! She needed someone in her life to trust her and give her an important responsibility, even if she wasn’t good enough.

Me: Then you should’ve put her in charge of the bubble! You could’ve made her feel good and then she would’ve lived!

Mom: Look, she needed to die.

Me: Did she?

Mom: Yes.

Me: …Did she really, though?

Mom: She was too tormented. She wasn’t ever gonna be happy.

Me: I’m just saying, she’s alive in my game, and she’s a drill instructor helping other kids like her.

Mom: Nah she could never do anything like that. She was too far-gone. Best I could do was give her a moment of triumph before mercy-killing her.

Me: …

Back on the ship, a conflict between Miranda and Jack has broken out. Jack is hurling chairs and tempers are flaring on both sides. Mom is elated.

Shepard: Both of you calm down!

Mom: I would never say that! I don’t want them to calm down I want Jack to kill Miranda!

Both of them appeal to Shepard to side with them. Mom chooses Jack without even thinking about it.

Miranda is furious that she’s been undermined by Shepard. As we turn to leave, Shepard turns back to her.

Shepard: Are we good?

Miranda: Not even remotely.

She slams the door in our face.

Mom: What? THAT’S where we’re leaving it? She can’t talk to me that way! I’m the captain! I’m going to shoot her in the face!

I head back in and talk to her. Shepard and Miranda spit a few insults at one another and the conversation ends again.

Mom: Oh this is BULLSHIT.

Mom: Since today’s Mother’s Day I better get a crown and roses on the website.

Me: Okay.

We boot up the game and load our save.

Me: So when we left off, we had just helped Jack take care of some personal business. We helped her blow up the laboratory where she was tortured and experimented upon as a child.

Mom: We already did that!

Me: …Right, it’s what happened last time. Anyway, why don’t we go see how she’s doing?

Jack is still shaken up from the experience. The horrible things that took place on Pragia still haunt her.

Mom: Okay I am just about done with putting up with her whining. “Get over it.”

Jack appreciates Shepard’s harshness and refusal to let her feel like a victim.

Mom: See? We’re best buds.

Me: Apparently.

Mom: Now go kill Miranda.

Me: I dunno what the heck happened, but we’ve got about 30 followers today. We’ve been sitting at about 900 for over a week and now we’re up to 936.

Mom: It’s because of all the compassion I showed for my pal Jack.

Me: I… dunno about that. You made her kill a guy.

Mom: Yeah.

Me: She didn’t seem that into it.

Mom: Look I need her in peak condition. She’s gonna kill Miranda for me. And then she’s gonna kill Hotpants for me to get his money.

Me: I see. That way you’re not implicated.

Mom: Exactly. I’ll slip her a little something for her trouble.

Me: So how does Jacob fit into this?

Mom stares at me incredulously.

Mom: Uh… He’s my Hot Chocolate!

As we head deeper into the laboratory, we run into a group of Blood Pack mercenaries. Someone named Aresh has hired them to work security for him in exchange for salvaging equipment from the lab. We take them out and head into Jack’s old cell to confront their boss.

Aresh explains that he was one of the other children in Teltin. Clearly unbalanced and traumatized, he says that he refuses to believe that the atrocities committed here were in vain. He’s certain that the Cerberus scientists discovered something incredible about human biotics, and wants to revive the facility to continue their work. His claims are completely empty, but that still leaves the question of what to do with him. Jack pulls a gun.

Mom: “Do it.”

Jack pulls the trigger. Aresh slumps to the floor.

Jack: That felt… good.

Mom: That’s my girl.

Mom plays around on Facebook as the Collectors gather up the colonists, and Harbinger possesses a drone to oversee the operation. We land on the planet and begin battling our way through the Collector troops.

Jack: Die, bitch!

Mom picks her head up from her laptop.

Mom: I just heard someone say “bitch.”

Me: That was the Convict.

Mom: I knew I liked her for some reason.

As we continue to talk with Jack, she suggests that we should steal the Normandy from Cerberus and become pirates.

Mom: Hell yes! Let’s do this.

Me: We can tell her that our mission is too important for that or we can ask how she’d help.

Mom: Screw that where’s the option to say let’s do it!

Me: It’s not there.

Mom: Dammit. “How would you help” then I guess.

Jack jokes about how she would be the one in charge of killing the crews of the ships we attack.

Me: “You enjoy killing” or “Goodbye.”

Mom: No! Where’s the option to take her advice?!

Me: I don’t think the game’s going to let you.

Mom: This sucks.