We head into Zakera Ward. On the way to the warehouse, we overhear two krogan arguing about something.

Me: One of those guys thinks that the reflecting pool here has fish in it.

Mom: Okay.

Me: Do you want to find out if it does for him?

Mom: …Why would I want to waste my time doing that?

Me: Fair enough.

We head on downstairs and come across a volus, a quarian, and a C-Sec officer arguing with one another. The volus is accusing the quarian of picking his pocket, and the quarian is insisting that he only thinks that because he’s racist. The C-Sec officer is leaning toward the volus.

I talk to the group, but mom immediately selects “goodbye.”

We arrive on Illium and head for the the bar. After throwing back a few drinks with the first bartender that’s willing to just give us alcohol without talking to us, we head to the back to speak with Miranda’s contact. On the way we bump into an asari and and a quarian, discussing what they’re going to do about the quarian’s indentured servitude contract.

Me: So this girl is a slave and needs help being bought by a technology company.

Mom: Why on Earth do I care?

Me: So you remember last time how we helped the thief with that heist?

Mom: …I guess?

Me: She’s Loyal to us now because we helped her. Basically she’s willing to go the extra mile for us and stick her neck out.

Mom: But… I don’t like her.

Me: Well she likes you.

Mom: Terrific.

Me: Now where do you want to go next? We can go investigate the experiment gone wrong at Project Overlord, we can help the one-eyed guy kill the head of a notorious gang, or we could go recruit “The Krogan.”

Mom: The what now?

Me: You remember that big monster guy that was on our team in the first game, that we killed?

Mom: No.

Me: You know, the… Anyway, the Krogan’s a big monster guy that we can recruit.

Mom: But we don’t need to recruit anyone else. The Thief is loyal to us, we’ve got the Convict, Jacob’s watching our back. We’re good to go. 

Me: You’re preparing to take on an army of highly advanced aliens.

Mom: In fact, we don’t really even need the Thief. She sucks.

Me: Fine, but you have to choose one of these destinations. Do you want to help Cerberus, help Zaeed, or—

Mom: I don’t want to help anybody but MYSELF.

Me: Well okay then, but the only option that doesn’t involve helping someone is to recruit the Krogan.

Mom rolls her eyes. “Fine.”

Me: So now that we’ve finished with Omega for the time being, we can fly around the galaxy again, and the game’s really opened up.

Mom: Zippity-do-da.

Me: Cerberus has a secret experiment called Project Overlord. Something’s gone wrong, and they’d like us to help out.

Mom: You know I’m not about helping out.

Me: We could also go check out the wreck of our first ship.

Mom: …Why?

Me: Fair enough. Another option is to go help Zaeed kill the gang leader he wants to kill.

Mom: No way, we’re not wasting time with the one-eyed doofus.

Me: Then I guess we’re recruiting some more people for our team. We could go get “The Krogan.” You remember that monster guy that we killed in the first game?

Mom: Uh… Yeah.

Me: It’s another one of those guys. There’s also “The Convict” and “The Master Thief.”

Mom: I like the sound of both of those. Master Thief sounds good, that means he can steal stuff for us, right?

Me: Presumably.

Mom: Let’s go for it.

Yikes it’s been like two days! Let’s get crackin’.

We head down to engineering to meet Ken and Gabby, and mom tells them that she expects them to treat her with military respect. They apologize for their informal behavior. Mom asks them if they’re all set up down here, and Ken explains that they could use some FBA couplings. He goes on to explain what they are and Gabby adds that they’d basically make their job easier.

Me: Do you want to tell them that we’ll pick some up for them?

Mom: Nah, they’re boring.

Me: Okay, so we have the evidence against Anoleis now. So we’ve got two options. We could give it to the turian like we promised and get Anoleis in trouble, or we could go to Anoleis and give him the evidence to get in good with him.

Mom: I don’t want to get that guy in trouble. I said before, us low-lifes gotta stick together.

Me: Alright then, we’ll report Qui’in to Anoleis.

Before we have the chance, we receive a message from Ms. Parassini. She wants to meet us for a drink in the bar and discuss something.

Me: Do you want to see what she wants, or just go straight to Anoleis?

Mom: She’s offering to buy us a drink, so I’m all about it.

We head back up to the bar. The asari businesswoman calls out for us to help her again, but again we blow her off. We head over to Parasini’s table.

Parasini: Allow me to reintroduce myself. Gianna Parasini, Noveria Internal Affairs.

Mom: I don’t care, where’s my drink.

Parasini explains that she’s working undercover to catch Anoleis, and that we should convince Qui’in to testify on her behalf.

Mom: Will she pay?

Parasini: I’m a cop, not an executive. I can’t move big sums of money.

Mom: Then I guess you’re up shit-creek.

Me: Oh, that’s something we didn’t catch before. Qui’in is willing to pay us if we help him instead of Anoleis.

Mom: How much?

Me: It doesn’t say.

Mom: Eh, don’t bother. We made more money gambling than we made off of the last guy who promised to pay us for our help.

Me: True enough.

On our way out of Anoleis’ office, Parassini suggests that we should go talk to a guy named Lorik Qui’in in the hotel bar if we want access to the garage.

Mom: Why didn’t she tell us that in the first place?!

Me: At least we get to go to a bar.

Mom: Look, fool me once.

We head up to the bar. An asari woman stops us and asks us for our time. She’d like us to go talk to another patron on her behalf. She says she’ll make it worth our while.

Mom: Is she going to pay us?

Me: Well, she’s implying that she will.

Mom: Not good enough, go away bitch.

A turian calls us over to have a drink with him.

Mom: Hell yes.

We strike up a conversation with him, asking about any asari Matriarchs that might’ve been through here. He confirms that Benezia “Betty” T’Soni came through here a few days ago, and was heading up to Peak 15 to investigate some kind of problem. We mention that we need a pass to go follow her, and Qui’in proposes a deal.

He explains that he has evidence that Anoleis is corrupt and is stealing money from the company. If we can get into his office and secure the evidence for him, Qui’in will pay us and give us a garage pass.

Mom: We need that pass, right? So I guess we have to do this.

Qui’in: There is one little… what is that charming human expression? “Fly in the lotion?”

Mom: It’s fly in the ointment, dumbass.

Qui’in tells us that Anoleis has sent in guards to toss his office and find the evidence. We’re going to have to deal with them first. Mom tells him that she’ll try and keep the violence to a minimum, but no promises.

Qui’in: Do try to keep from getting bloodstains on the carpet.

Clearly he has not been reading this blog.

We meander around Zhu’s Hope a bit. We find a woman who’s laying in bed babbling nonsense. Mom asks her if she’s contagious.

Eventually, we stop screwing around and talk to Fai Dan. We don’t get a chance to talk much though, as we’re once again interrupted by a Geth attack. We climb the nearby tower and fend off the attackers, causing their space ship to fly off.

Mom: Why didn’t you get on board their space ship when you had the chance?!

We return to Fai Dan. He explains that the Geth have taken over the nearby ExoGeni headquarters, and that we should take the Skyway to get there. He mentions that he could also use some help rebuilding the colony, but Mom ignores him and heads for the Skyway.

We continue to make our way to Chora’s Den, when yet ANOTHER jerk waves us over. For God’s sakes we just want to get some booze!

The guy introduces himself as Conrad Verner. Mom mentions that he reminds Robyn Shepard way too much of an old ex-boyfriend. She tells him to screw off.

Conrad: Ohhhh, I see, the BIG HERO is too good to talk to us little guys, is that it?

Mom: Yep.

We start to cross the Wards when we’re flagged down by a woman in a ridiculous outfit. She explains that she’s a reporter and wants Shepard’s help to get some info for an article she’s writing.

Mom: We don’t have time for this. We’re going to the bar!

Me: Well, couldn’t we take care of it after we’re done drinking?

Mom: No, ‘cause I don’t care. Didn’t I already explain that I’m only in this for the cash?

Me: But she said she could make it worth our while! 

Mom: Yeah, okay. For all I know she’s a spy.

Me: For Saren?

Mom: For Calvin Klein!

Me: I wonder how much money we have, anyway. *Pauses to check* 1,250 credits.

Mom: That’s it?

Me: Yeah.

Mom: Well, now you know why this is so important to me.